


Bottled Lightning

by Selfmanic



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mutant Powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 15:37:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21200030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selfmanic/pseuds/Selfmanic





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Phil watched the team work trying to decide if he could push the more human members into take a break. The mission had lasted six torturous hours before the building Hawkeye had been using collapsed. The archer had been radio silent and missing ever since. It’d taken another hour to take out the last of the robots and the men who were operating them. If they were taken out with more broken bones than normal, Phil did his best to ignore that fact.

They’d been digging through the rubble for eighteen hours. Bruce was forcing everyone to down bottles of water when he could but no one was willing to stop for rest while their teammate might be injured somewhere below them. Natasha was operating a crane while Steve, Thor, and Ironman worked to move the massive blocks of concrete and steel to one side. 

Phil radioed in and arranged for several teams of Shield specialists to maintain security and assist where they could. Dump trucks full of rubble were being carted away as fast as the team could fill them. He made sure that the Shield teams were on a rotation so they got some rest from the nonstop slog. Hawkeye had been missing for twenty hours when they finally got a glimmer of hope.

“Everyone shut up!” Tony snapped out silencing the line for a moment.

“Stark.” Phil sighed, ready to argue, but the inventor rode right over him.

“Nope, shut up.” He snarled, “Jarvis play that transmission again.” Static filled the com line before words started to filter through.

“...Hawk...resp...Bart…inj...respond...” Woops of relief filled the line.

“Stark, can you triangulate to that signal? His Shield trackers aren't precise enough for this.” Phil growled out. Someone would be fixing that once this was over.

“Working on it now, Jarvis is working to clean it up.”

“Move that feed to line six please, Jarvis, when you're ready.”

“Of course, Agent Coulson.”

“Let’s get back to work everyone; Hawkeye’s waiting.” Phil snapped reining in his relief, they still have to get him out.

“If I may, I have added the clean broadcast to line six however Agent Barton is not responding to any attempt to hail him.” Jarvis said a while later.

“Thanks, Jarvis. Avengers I’m adding line six to your personal coms. Let me know if it’s too distracting.” The technician nodded that it had been done a moment later. A soft click heralded a nonstop stream of breathless curses that left Stark cackling over the coms until Jarvis helpfully muted him.

“Fuck, Designation Hawkeye, Shield code Alpha Omega Delta two six forty eight.” Clint panted for breath for a long moment. “Shit. Come on you utter piece of crap. Fuck. Ow. I’m requisitioning a tool kit for my uniform after this.” He gasped; muffled coughing came across the line like his mouth was pressed against something. “Shit. Come on, green lights are good things. Work you piece of shit. If anyone can hear this I’m under several hundred metric tons of rubble. I’d like to get out before I go utterly insane. Fuck.”

Phil frowned at how breathless the archer sounded. Every other word was interspaced with shallow sounding pants and gasps for air. Did he have broken ribs?

“I know you guys don’t know I trained to be part of the contortionist act for about six months when I started out at the circus. Fuck.” He grunted softly and the sound of something scraping came through the line. “Six months doing splits and stretches and then being stuffed into a trunk. I hated it.” More sounds of scraping and a few soft curses before Clint paused to pant openly into the mic. “This is worse.”

“I need someone on analytics to look into how small a space a contortionist normally fits into and how that is going to affect their breathing. Specifically how long they can stay in that position.” Phil snapped out to one of the Shield minions hovering around. Clint running out of air had been a concern but if he was compressed tightly he wouldn’t have room to expand his lungs.

“Coulson,” Natasha said softly, his private line clicked as she switched over. Phil flipped to the same line.

“Natasha? What do you need?”

“How long can he stay like that? It’s already been over twenty hours.”

“The analysts are looking into it. It depends on what position he’s in.”

They listened to Clint curse and pant in-between listing his Shield designation and trying to fix his comlink for another two hours as they chipped away at the pile of rubble.

“No, no, no, don’t do that! Fuck!” The sudden shout had everyone freezing in place. A rending screech of metal and stone filled the com overpowering anything that Clint might have been saying. When it finally ended a moment later the line was silent. A weak cough came over the line, everyone sagging in relief around the command room. They started trying to hail him again but he was silent except for the occasional cough.

Part of the structure had collapsed. Stark started rescanning the rubble trying to find a clear path to their archer. Steve and Thor went back to tossing blocks of rubble into the waiting trucks until they knew where to move next.

Everyone froze when a second rumble shook the area. Steve’s sudden cry of “Hit the deck!” probably saved most of the Shield agents near the rubble. The site exploded in a shower of fragmented stone and rebar. Sending chunks of concrete in every direction as dust filled the air.

“All units check in.” Phil snapped. Hauling one tech and his chair back up right. “There was not supposed to be anything explosive in that building! Someone give me a sitrep!”

“Sir, Hawkeye’s tracker has moved.” One technician said, flinching slightly when he rounded on them.

“Moved where exactly?”  
“Triangulating now, sir.” The tech gulped and glanced back at him before stuttering out, “Chicago, Illinois, sir.”

“His tracker is reading him more than 700 miles away?” Phil said his voice going hard in disbelief.

“Yes, sir. I’m running it again.” The technician said eyes on his equipment.

“Do that.”

“We have a problem, Coulson.” Stark said over the com.

“What would that be?” Phil asked with a sigh.

“Clint’s not in the hole.”

“Explain that statement, Stark.”

“We’d gotten close enough that I could see his heat signature on my scanners. Even... even if that explosion tore him apart I should be able to detect the pieces. I have nothing except a fading heat signature dead center of the explosion.”

“And there is no sign of Agent Barton beyond the fading heat signature?”

“Nothing that I can see.” Stark said, swallowing hard enough for the coms to pick it up.

“Natasha?”

“Yes?”

“Would there be anywhere in Chicago that Clint would consider safe?”

“He has a safe house there...why?”  
“Because according to our techs his tracker is showing up in downtown Chicago, Illinois.”

“That’s not possible.” Steve muttered in the background.

“Stark, I need a jet ready to go to Chicago. I’ll have the ground crew keep looking while you and Natasha look. Captain, if you and Thor can help out here for now. Feel free to take a break if you need it. Once we know if Clint is in Chicago or not we will reassess the situation from there.”

“You coming with, Agent Agent?”

“Yes, Stark. I will be.” Phil snapped before flipping to another channel. “Sitwell, can you take over the clean up here?”

“Yeah, I got it Phil. Go get our bird back.”

***

“You know I could have flown myself faster than this.” Stark grumbled, shifting in his seat.

“Clint booby traps his hideouts, Stark. You really want to both of you blown up because you wanted to rush?”

“Are we sure he’s there?”  
“Yes, they narrowed it down to the same block as his safe house.” Natasha said, taping at a handheld tablet. “The ground troops are reporting some strange radiation coming from where Clint probably was laying. I’m sending you the files, Stark; you can stop with the grabby hands.”

“What possible scenarios are we looking at?” Phil asked, taking notes on his own laptop.

“Spontaneous teleportation?” Natasha offered, shifting back in her seat to watch Phil.

“That has not been proven possible with the exception of a few rare mutants.”

“Do we have proof that Clint’s not a mutant?” Stark asked fingers moving rapidly as he worked.

“We know he doesn’t have the X gene. All Shield employees are tested on intake.”

“That’s not a hard and fast indicator. Sometimes mutants don’t have it and still have abilities.”

“So what, he what... just spontaneously teleports himself to Chicago out of the blue? I’m sure the hawk’s been in much worse situations that would have triggered that kind of ability.” Stark pointed out.

“Point.” Natasha said with a sigh.

“Leftover energy from the tesseract that he managed to tap into?” Phil asked, with a small frown. Shield had run every test they could think of on Clint after the battle and found nothing beyond severe dehydration and exhaustion. Loki had not been big on letting his minions do normal things like eat and sleep.

“I can rule that one out. The energy readings left behind look nothing like the cube.” Stark said, tossing his tablet away.

“Innate ability that exposure to the tesseract activated? It has only been a year since the battle.” Natasha asked.

“It’s a possibility, but then, everything is a possibility right now. We’ll know more once we get to him.” Phil said, shutting his tablet down and pulling out the small notebook he recorded personal notes about each operation he worked on.

***

Natasha moved quickly through the abandoned house, disarming the traps as she found them. Phil mirrored her actions on the second floor before joining Stark at the door to the basement.

“He stays in the basement? Really?” Stark asked glancing around the abandoned space with distaste.

“Safest part of the house and it has several concealed exits.” Phil said, gesturing for Natasha to go first. He waited five seconds before moving down the staircase himself, Stark at his elbow.

“I have Hawkeye. We’re going to need medical.”

Phil quickly radioed for the medical team to head in as he rushed down the last set of steps. He flipped the lights on and froze for an instant taking in the damage. Clint lay curled in the center of the floor. Everything along the walls was melted to slag, the floors burned black with streaks radiating out from his body. The bricks still radiated heat even hours after Clint must have arrived.

“He’s breathing shallowly and I have a thready pulse.” Natasha said, glancing up at Phil, letting him see the quick flash of fear in her eyes before her mask came back down. “The rebar must have heated in the...transport. The wounds are cauterized.”

“It meant that he didn’t bleed out before we got to him. I’m going to take that as a good thing.”

“Yes.”

“Stark, can you cut the rebar so we can straighten him out?” Phil glanced back when the normally talkative man did not respond. “Stark?”

“Yeah, shit. Okay.” he powered up a laser, eying the still form of his teammate. “Tell me where to cut.”

“Between his shoulder and leg, first. We’ll move him and see where the rest of the rebar went.”

“Right.” Stark huffed, starting to cut. “We’re going to add a damn trapeze to the gym if this circus shit is that helpful.”

Phil glanced down at the small form of Agent Barton and tried to figure out how he had even gotten himself into that small a ball of bone and muscle. Black rebar entered the back of one shoulder, exiting the front and entering his right lower leg. A second and third bar went through his hip and back at the same angle, locking the man into his contorted position.

Two cuts later the medical staff entered just as they started to straighten him. Clint took a wheezing gasp of air as they eased his chest of out its contorted curl but remained unconscious. Stark made two more cuts to shorten the rebar so that Clint was able to lie on his side. The medics put Clint on oxygen and started an IV, hurriedly strapping him to a backboard to get him to the local Shield base for treatment.

Clint spent the next eight hours in surgery to remove the rebar. The metal had been hot enough to cauterize his wounds but it also meant they had to cut away most of the burned flesh to remove the steel. The rest of the team arrived while he was still in recovery.

“How’s he doing?” Steve asked as soon as he ducked through the door, Thor right behind him. He blinked at the rumpled state of Phil’s suit and Stark collapsed on to the nearby sofa snoring.

“He’s in recovery. Natasha’s with him. They’re going to move him to the ICU soon.”

“Will we be able to see him?”  
“Normally they keep strict visiting hours, which are already over.” Phil noted glancing at his watch. “However, Director Fury has authorized for two people to be allowed in at all times. We’ll need to come up with some sort of schedule until he’s stable enough to be flown back to New York.”

“Will you be able to stay until then?”

“As the Avenger’s liaison with Shield, where you go, I go.” Phil said with a tired grin. “Unless the world is ending we’re all here until we can bring our archer home.”

“Good.” Thor said with a grin. “Lady Pepper insisted that we bring garments for everyone.” He added several bags to one corner and handed Phil a suit bag.

“While things are calm you should get cleaned up. Thor and I changed on the jet.”

“And I will get everyone coffee. It is a most delicious Midgardian beverage.”

“It is. I’ll take a large black, thank you.” Phil said with a small grin.

“Of course, Captain?”  
“I’m good for now. I’m sure Tony will want a large as well once he wakes up.”

“Verily. I shall endeavor to return promptly.”

“Take your time, Thor. We are probably going to be here for several days.” Steve said, fiddling with his ball cap. They sat in silence for a while before Steve finally asked the question that had been running through everyone’s minds.

“Do you think he’s going to be coming back from this? I mean… he’s fully human right?”

“Clint’s come back from injuries that should have left him in a wheelchair or off active duty before. I’m not going to write him off until we know exactly what the damage is and how he’s recovering.”

Phil gathered up his briefcase and the suit bag and headed to the restroom to change. He would not write off Clint, no matter how injured he was. He had watched the archer take bullets meant for children, climb buildings with broken limbs in order to save a team member, and stay on his perch through a hurricane to make a shot.

Everyone Clint had ever known had abandoned him at one point or another. His parents had beat and neglected him. His brother had dragged him away to the circus before leaving Clint injured and alone. His mentors had beat him and left him for dead. No one was going to abandon Clint ever again if Phil had something to say about it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Clint came out of recovery with the doctors hopefully enthusiastic about his progress. He was breathing well on his own and they were just waiting for him to wake up from the anesthesia. He was a mess of IVs, bandages, and drains that would take months of healing and therapy but he would heal in time.  
Phil was sharing his shift with Bruce today. The doctors thought Clint would wake up sometime this morning. It had only been twenty eight hours since his surgery and none of them were expecting him to be up to the normal disappearances he pulled when he was injured. They both jumped when Clint groaned, shifting as he woke up.

“Clint? You’re in the hospital. You need to stay still.” Phil said, waving Bruce back just in case he woke up violent or stuck in a dream. It had happened before, Clint tended to react badly to sedation of any kind.  
“Clint?”  
Clint threw himself upright and back with a gasp. Phil felt his stomach drop as he took in the white lines of energy that were crackling and arching across the archers body. The worst part was the blazing white that removed any hint of eye color. It was Loki all over again.  
“Bruce, go get the others. I’ll see if I can calm him down.”  
“Right, I’ll get security to clear the floor just in case.”“That would be good.” Phil said fighting against every instinct screaming at him to back away. He didn’t want to consider what would happen if an explosion like at the collapsed building happened in a Shield hospital.  
He barely made it another two tiny steps before Clint shouted, tossing out his arms like he was trying to protect his face. That was the last thing Phil saw as the energy exploded outward, throwing him into the wall and making every pane of bullet proof glass around them shatter. He let the darkness take him as Phil felt his head connect with something on the way down.

***

“Bad time to take a nap, Cheese.” Director Fury said with a sigh.  
“Barton?” He asked pulling himself upright and waiting on the room to stop spinning.  
“He’s in New York. The plane’s waiting on your lazy ass.” Nick said handing him several pills and a cup of water.  
“Is anyone with him?”“Stark’s AI is keeping an eye on him. Anyone approaching him right now is just going to make him rabbit again.”  
“You make it sound like this has happened before.”  
“It has.” Fury said with a sigh. “Come on, Cheese. I’ll read everyone in on the fight.”  
“Agent Barton’s been with Shield ten years, Nick. If he had that kind of power we would have noticed.” He said pulling on his coat and stepping into his shoes.  
“Let’s wrap this up people, there’s a jet waiting.” Fury snapped, gesturing for the rest of the team to follow him as he strode off down the hall.  
“How are you feeling, Agent Coulson?” Bruce asked, moving to grab the slightly unsteady man’s arm.  
“Like I have a mild concussion, Dr. Banner. I’ll live.”  
“I take it Fury is being a lying liar who lies again?” Tony asked, tapping away on his phone as they moved.  
“I believe that this is more lying by omission however since Agent Barton was my asset I should have been informed of an abilities such as this.”  
“Less chatter and more walking, people! I want my asset back before he manages to take out half of New York!”  
“Please tell me that’s not an actual possibility. I just got Stark Tower fully repaired from the last major battle.”  
“Get on the damn jet, Stark, or I’m leaving your ass here.”

***

“Okay, we are all strapped in. Spill.” Tony snapped, glaring at Fury.   
“There is a limit even to my patience, Stark. Don’t push it.” He snarled back handing a stack of files to Phil. “Clint Barton’s full intake file.”  
“Why didn’t I see this when he became my asset?”“Because that was part of his contract with Shield. He agreed to join only if his mutation was never exploited in any way, shape, or form. I was only to reveal the information we gathered about it if he became a danger to himself or others.”  
“So, he’s a mutant. One tenth of Shield hires are mutants. How is he different?” Natasha asked eying Fury like she was deciding where to start cutting.  
“We didn’t recruit Barton. He contacted us. He was tired of working on his own and had researched Shield. He liked what he heard and put out notices to get our attention.”  
“That’s not right. I chased him for six months before having to shoot him in order to slow him down, Nick.”  
“Barton demanded that he get to test his handler. If you couldn’t keep up, he wouldn’t work with you.”  
“You don’t normally cave to assets demands.”  
“I do when they have the power to back them up.” Fury said, running one hand across his mouth. “Barton agreed to let us test his abilities. Xavier looked at him and said he could level half the continent if he ever let loose but his moral compass was too strong to ever let him do that willingly.”   
“Think about it. An assassin who only kills those who are truly evil, which is able to manipulate energy on the subatomic level, which can kill with a touch, yet prefers to use Paleolithic weapons because it represents a challenge. The man is a walking contradiction.”  
“Why exactly has he never used his abilities for his missions?” Phil pressed.  
“I really thought you would have caught on by now, Coulson. We have a boy who grew up abused and abandoned by everyone he ever knew, a boy who hit puberty while part of a circus of misfits and freaks. By sheer luck his mutation presented in front of a mutant who was part of the circus. He taught Barton how to hide his mutant abilities and how to turn them inward. It’s not why is he not using his mutant abilities, it’s when is he not.”  
“His eyesight?”“That’s actually normal. Far as we can tell he was born with it. His enhanced speed, strength, stamina and accelerated healing are all his mutant ability.”  
“And what he’s doing now?”  
“He calls it jumping. He lets the energy build up until it explodes outward and focuses on a destination. He hates doing it however, says it feels like being torn to pieces, shoved through a tube and rebuilt on the other side.”  
“That sounds...most painful. Not like the bifrost at all.” Thor muttered, watching the others with a worried expression.   
“Has he ever lost control like this?” Phil asked needing answers faster than he could find them in the files.  
“Since he joined Shield? No. He did have a similar incident after his brother and mentor tried to kill him. Managed to jump to a small town they had visited at one point. He was found by someone walking their dog and put in a hospital until he could heal himself fully.”  
“Far as we can tell it’s an instinctive reaction to get himself somewhere safe. My guess is that he was close to dying under that building, passed out, and jumped completely on instinct to his safe house.”  
“And at Shield?”  
“When has he ever liked hospitals?” Fury said with a shrug.  
“How are you planning to approach him once we get to the tower? He didn’t let me get within ten feet.” Phil pointed out.  
“The difference between me and you is that I have a crib sheet for incidents like this. I was on my way to his room when he jumped. Once we get there I’m going to need everyone to stay back until I get him calmed down a bit.”  
“What can we do to help?”  
“Mainly stay out of the way. His defenses are up while he’s like this. Any threat no matter how small will be dealt with like it’s lethal.”  
“How does he generate the...energy exactly?”“No idea. All I know if that the more scared or injured he is, the more he pumps out.”  
“Great. So we have an assassin with an ability that can level most of New York in a tower powered by a massive arch reactor that would take out the rest of New York when it explodes.” Tony groaned.  
“Considering you also house a man who turns into a giant rage monster, a super soldier, and a god, Tony, I doubt Clint is going to do that much damage.” Bruce pointed out with a small grin. “If he’s kept absolute control while working for Shield I doubt we could do anything to set him off.”

***

The first thing they found walking into the empty guest floor was blood. It lay smeared and pooling along the walls and tile floors. A line of discarded half melted medical paraphernalia pointed toward the living room area with bloody foot prints leading the way. Clint was curled, sitting up against one wall barely covered by the discarded hospital gown.

“Someone needs to get him some clothes. The rest of you, find a spot near a wall and don’t interrupt.”  
“He needs medical treatment if he just pulled all those tubes out.” Bruce pointed out with a glare.  
“What part of advanced healing ability did you miss?” Fury snapped, “He’s healing himself as we speak or did you not notice the dancing white lights under his skin?”  
“That happens when he heals?” Steve asked, moving to lean against a far wall.  
“You’ve seen him heal?” Bruce asked at the same time.  
“Who do you think healed Coulson while he was in his coma? Seriously, get your heads around this. You’re supposed to be a group of some of the finest minds on the planet. I’m starting to doubt that designation.”  
“How the hell are you taking this so calmly?” Stark snapped.   
“Trust me. I’ve seen weirder.” Fury said with a glare. “Now find a piece of wall and let me deal with this cluster fuck already. Preferably before he decides we’re a threat and blows the building.”  
They all glanced at where Clint was now watching them with glowing white eyes from his slump against the wall. Fury moved forward after a final glare at the team in general. Natasha had already disappeared to get the requested clothes and whatever else she thought Clint would need.  
“I really don’t have time for this kind of shit, Ronin.” Fury snapped moving forward and dropping to a crouch a few feet away from Clint. He ignored the murmurs behind him and where Natasha was frozen in the entryway with a bag over one arm.  
“Sorry, Boss.” Clint slurred, eyes not really focusing.  
“You’re making my job complicated again, Ronin. You understand what that means?”  
“You’re outing me to Shield.” He said, watching as Fury pulled out a handkerchief from inside his coat and started gently cleaning the archer’s hands and arms. “No, just to the team. As far as the reports go you will have been under the effects of residual energies from the tesseract that have since dissipated.”  
“Benching me again?”  
“At least a month until you can prove to me that you are back under control.”  
“Can do that if you let me use it. Just need to get the levels back down.”  
“How are you planning to do that?”“Healing.” He said, reaching out and touching Fury’s cheek with one hand.  
“We’ve talked about this, Ronin. I like my eye the way it is.” He said grabbing Clint’s wrist and pulling his hand away.  
“Just let me stop the pain. I know it hurts you.”  
“Just that, nothing else. I don’t want to have to explain to medical how I grew a new eye overnight.”  
“Yes, Boss.” Clint slurred, pressing his hand back against Fury’s cheek. His skin pulsed with an inner light as he healed the damaged nerves before letting his hand fall away.  
“Thank you.” Fury said gruffly. “How drunk are you feeling?”  
“Bourbon not vodka. It’s just power drunk. Can’t focus on anything unless I want to see everything.”  
“How do you want to deal with lowering your power levels, Ronin? I’d rather not have to deal with you blowing up Stark Tower right now.”  
“Told you, healing.”  
“Healing who exactly?”“Doesn’t matter. Normally sneak into a few cancer wards till the levels are good.”  
“We have a hospital just outside New York where our incurables go. I’ll arrange a visit. Everyone there has already signed off on experimental procedures.”  
“Okay.”  
“You up to getting cleaned up? Romanov brought you some clothes.”  
“Yeah.” Clint said, prying himself up slowly and staggering his way to the bedroom.  
“Get dressed after you shower, Ronin. I’ve seen enough of your pasty ass to last a lifetime.” Clint flipped him off even as he bounced off the door way and disappeared into the bedroom.  
“Coulson, Romanov, one of you go keep an eye on him. Don’t let him dawdle. We should be okay as long as he’s moving.”  
“You really think taking him to a hospital is a good idea?” Steve asked as Natasha disappeared into the bedroom. “As long as we keep him moving between patients and not focusing on anything too hard, yes. You people need to wrap your heads around the fact that he has no control right now. He needs to get the levels down and to do that he needs to use it. It’s either by healing or by destroying something. Which do you want him to do?”  
“Why is he ignoring us?” Thor rumbled from his place near the windows.  
“He’s not. He’s trying to not see you at the subatomic level right now.”  
“What do you mean, subatomic? No one can see an atom with the naked eye.” Tony said, sounding exhausted.“He has no control and no filter. Whatever he focuses on he’s seeing at full power. He looks at me and see’s the damaged nerves in my face. He looks the rest of you and god knows what he focusses on but it’s definitely not the face he normally sees.”  
“Sound waves.” Clint said, wandering back into the room wearing combat boots, jeans, and an oversized hoodie.   
“And?” Fury prompted.  
“You're loud.”  
“Good to know. We have a jet to take. Let’s move people, and take the next damn elevator. You really think boxing in a man who can rip you apart at the atomic level is a good thing?” Fury snarled, pulling out his phone and dialing one handed while he guided Clint into the elevator.

***

A doctor was waiting for them, protesting the use of his patients. They gained several nurses who followed them into the first ward. Fury pointed Clint towards the first bed and gave him a push forward before turning back to the doctor.  
“This man has healed both myself and Agent Coulson. Are you saying that someone we deem worthy of treating us for life threatening injuries isn’t good enough to heal your patients? Patients I might add that have already signed in agreement of any and all experimental procedures?”  
“We have never used mutants in this facility before. We don’t.” Fury rode right over him.  
“Then we will be using them in the future. This Agent,” he said, gesturing at Clint, “will have constant access to this hospital. I don’t care when he shows up, he will be allowed access to our patients.”  
“If any of the patients react badly to his methods...”  
“They won’t. He uses energy to speed healing. Nothing more, nothing less. They might have a ramped up metabolism for a few days but it wears off.”  
Everyone glanced up as Clint left the first bed and moved to the next, leaving behind a man slowly pulling himself up where moments before he’d been in a coma. Clint ignored the staff quickly moving forward to access his last patient. His hands were already glowing as he pressed one hand against a woman’s cheek and shoulder.  
“How long has that man been unconscious, Doctor?”  
“Six years.”   
“Then you might want to call for some more staff. I have a feeling he’s going to hit several floors tonight.”  
“Floors? Yes, right.”  
“We might be back tomorrow. It depends on the agent.”  
“Okay.”  
“You want to get to work, Doc. You’re going to have a lot of healed patients to deal with.”  
“Of course. Thank you, sir.” He said finally shaking off his stupor, tapping rapidly on his iPad. “Will this be a common occurrence, sir?”  
“I have no idea. That depends entirely on the agent and this is not his day job.”  
“Of course.” He murmured, already jogging away to see who could be called in.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hours later Clint pulled away from the bed in front of him and didn’t move on to the next. He glanced around the room taking in the frantic staff and the small cluster of super heroes and Shield agents who were waiting on him. Shuffling over he wrapped his arms around himself.  
“Done for the day?” Fury asked, tossing Stark his tablet back.  
“Yeah, probably will need it again in the morning.” Clint said with a sigh.  
“I’ll have the jet pick you up at nine. Think you can do without me for a while, Ronin?”  
“Yeah. Thanks, Nick.”  
“How are you feeling?” Bruce pressed, pushing forward as Fury strode away.  
“Tired. I just need to get everything locked back down and I should be good.”  
“How do you do that exactly?” He asked as the rest of the team followed them through the hospital to the hangar bay.  
“Probably about like you do. Meditation.”  
“Huh, really?”  
“Yeah.”  
Clint made his slow way off the quinjet once they arrived at the tower. He tried to ignore the way everyone except Bruce was giving him a ten foot radius. It all just made him tired. No one except Fury and Bruce had approached him since they found him at the tower.  
He was trying to ignore the fact that they were letting Bruce do it because he was essentially indestructible. He was also trying to ignore the fact that he was probably the one person on the planet right now who could take out the Hulk. Would it hurt? In more ways than Clint wanted to think about but he could do it.  
Natasha he could understand. He’d hidden something from her for seven years, hidden abilities that could have saved them countless times over on dozens of missions. He wondered if she realized that he’d healed or bumped her energy levels up when she flagged on many of those missions as well.  
He wandered into the common area with a small sigh. He ignored the looks Bruce was shooting him and shuffled into the kitchen. He suddenly sagged against the counter coughing, curled in on himself as he violently hacked. Straightening he wiped shakily at his face before continuing to the fridge.  
Pulling out two protein drinks, he grabbed a jar of peanut butter as an afterthought. He shut the door before pausing to wipe at the handle with the sleeve of his hoodie. He could feel the energy crackling just below the surface, begging to be used.

“Clint” Bruce said softly moving like he was going to touch Clint.  
“Nope.” Clint said weakly, gathering his haul to his chest and shuffling to the elevator.  
“Jarvis?” he asked coughing into his sleeve.  
“How can I assist you, Agent Barton?”  
“My floor?”  
“Of course, sir.” Jarvis said soothingly, opening the elevator as he finished his too slow shuffle. Bruce, of course, followed him in.  
On his floor he went to the bedroom, ignoring the bed and opening the closet. Setting his food on the floor next to his pallet, Clint struggled out of his hoodie tossing it to one side. He heard Bruce gasp softly behind him but he ignored it, curling on the pile of blankets and pulling off his boots.  
Clint did his best to ignore the rest of the team getting to the floor and tromping their way along. God, they were loud and he was running on instinct, never a good place to be for him. He huddled in his nest and finished his drinks while the others milled around. He’d half-finished the peanut butter when Bruce come back and stopped just outside the open door.

“What do you need? Can we do anything for you?” Bruce asked, shifting in the doorway. Clint pushed the peanut butter away with a sigh.  
“Just leave me alone. Going to sleep and I don’t know how I’ll react if you try and wake me up.” He settled deeper into the pile of blankets and tried to ignore how his skin was glowing from the energy pulsing just beneath.  
“Okay, I’ll have Jarvis wake you when the jet arrives in the morning.”  
“Thanks.”  
“We’re not giving up on you yet, Clint.”

***

Clint woke to the feeling of eyes watching him. Natasha was perched on his bed in the main room watching him with unblinking eyes. He coughed as he untangled himself from the blankets and made his slow way to the bathroom. She followed a few feet behind.  
“You’re sick.”  
“Almost healed.” He corrected absently, stripping and starting the shower.  
“You’re coughing up blood.”   
“It happens.”  
“When?”  
“When I jump.”  
He ducked under the water and grabbed a bottle of some kind of body wash to scrub himself down with. He didn’t stay to enjoy the never ending hot water like he normally would; he was on a time limit. He could feel it building under his skin and in his chest. He managed to get mostly dressed before it surged, taking his legs out from under him and leaving him huddled on the ground.  
Clint could feel the energy snapping in the air around him looking for an outlet. Desperate, he threw his senses wide. He grabbed on to the steel girders of the tower, following their deep progress into the earth. He let a trickle of the excess pour down the path his mind had noted, pouring into the earth below the tower and dissipation into heat.  
The team watched him collapse. Listened as Jarvis began listing changes to the build. The temperature in the room soared, Clint’s skin and hair steamed as the lingering water from his bath was vaporized.  
“Barton, what just happened?” Stark demanded, as Clint slowly uncurled and pulled himself back to his feet.  
“Need to get to the hospital.”  
“No, you tell me what you just did.”  
“I grounded some of the energy.”  
“In my building!”  
“In the ground, I just used the steel to guide everything down.”  
“No,”  
“Tony, let him get to the jet. We can figure out exactly what he did later.” Steve said, gesturing for Clint to head for the elevator.  
“He could’ve destabilized the entire building!”  
“But he didn’t.” Steve said trying to sooth the pacing engineer. “Jarvis, back me up. Did Clint hurt anything?”  
“Except for a ten degree increase in temperature of the walls next the girders; I am not registering any damage. I will continue to monitor the situation.”  
“Do that and run some models to see what could have possibly happened.” Tony snapped.  
“Already in progress, sir.”  
“Let’s get this freak show on the road then.”  
“Tony.” Bruce said with a sigh, looking at how Clint was huddled in on himself in his seat on the jet. “He can’t help how he was born.”  
“He can learn some damned control. Or at least have the decency to tell people before he starts destroying their things.”  
“Like the Hulk does?” Bruce asked, taking the seat next to Clint. The rest of the ride was silent.  
Clint spent the rest of the day silently healing, moving through the different wards of the medical base. The doctors had been better warned this time and they simply pointed him toward the worst cases and the incurable patients. He had pushed his sleeves up as the day wore on, letting everyone see the pulses of light buried under his skin.  
“Does it hurt?” One nurse asked as she helped the patient he had just finished with.  
“What, the healing?”  
“No, does the light hurt?”  
“No, it’s...it’s more heat than light. It’s just warm.”  
“So the healing would feel like?”  
“Warm.” The patient said with a sleepy grin, “Like having hot tea poured into you, or thick sunlight.”  
“Sounds nice.” She said with a grin. Clint forced himself to tiredly return it and continued his rounds. He paused in the hall once he finished the floor, accessing things. He probably could get everything settled if the team left him alone. He really doubted that was an option.  
With a sigh, he made his way down to the next floor and to the next patient. If he drained himself enough he should be able to lock everything down even with the team distracting him. None of them were really known for their calm and level headedness.  
While he worked he started setting up each “lock” as he thought of it. It was more of a task that he gave his gift to accomplish. Use this energy to heal him of any injuries he gained, use this bit to help his speed, use this to keep him moving past the point of exhaustion. It was a convoluted system but it had been working for him for years.  
He absently wished he had used more control earlier when he allowed it to roar through him and heal every injury it found. The energy had remodeled the breaks from his bones and erased the scars from his skin along the way. He would not be surprised if he looked or even genetically was younger after this was all over.  
Most of the team had already went back to the tower by the time he pulled himself into the waiting Quinjet. Natasha and Bruce moved like twin shadows behind him. Heaving a sigh he glanced at Natasha before moving to the pilot and handing over the note he’d written out earlier.  
“Call in and check.” He muttered when the man simply gave him an unimpressed look.  
“Going somewhere?” Natasha asked, as he secured himself into a seat.  
“The New York base. He can take you guys back to the tower afterwards.”  
“You’re not coming back?” Bruce asked fiddling with his glasses.  
“Stark seemed rather against it. I have a bunk on base still. I’ll stay there.”  
“You don’t have to. Tony’s just upset.”“Stark owns the building, Bruce. He doesn’t let us pay rent and can kick us out at any time. I’m just saving him the argument.”  
“He’s not going to kick you out.”  
“Doesn’t matter. I’m out. I’ll come for training and shit but I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next morning he got cleaned up and started training. He had energy to focus and burn off. By noon he’d run through the outdoor obstacle course six times and spent two hours at the range doing speed drills. Natasha found him sprawled on the observation deck over the obstacle course meditating as he forced the last of the rampant energy into its normal box.

“Your eyes are glowing slightly.” She said, soundlessly dropping into a tailor’s seat next to him.

“They do that sometimes.” he agreed, shifting to let himself go limp against the floor, eyes closed.

“You’ve healed me before.” she stated, once they had been sitting together silently for a few minutes.

“Yes.” he said with a sigh, opening his eyes and turning to watch her profile.

“When? Every mission we went on together or just the bad ones?” Natasha pressed, her gaze firmly fixed on some point out the window.

“The bad ones.”

“And your hands are hot when you heal.”

“Yes. If you want I’ll ask permission if I think you need healing from now on.”

“I would like that, yes.” she said frostily making him wince.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell anyone. Too many people have tried to use it against me.”

“Fury said Xavier looked into your abilities.”

“Yeah.”

“Does it bother you talking about it?”

“It’s just...I’ve never talked about it. Ever.” he said shifting into a more comfortable position.

“And now the entire team knows and will want to talk to you about it.”

“As long as they don’t start expecting me to use it.” he huffed.

“What about the hospital? You don’t want to keep making rounds once a month or something?”

“I just don’t want them to depend on it. What if I’m on a long solo mission or can’t make it? I don’t want the team or Shield relying on me for that.”

“So you want to only use it in emergencies?”  
“I’d rather not use it at all!” He snapped, surging to his feet, “I don’t have control of it!”

“Then you need to learn control.”

“You don’t think I haven’t been trying? I’ve been working at being able to use it since I was thirteen. I only wind up hurting people!”

“So instead of learning to heal and use your abilities for good, you want to hide.”

“You’re not listening to me!”

“And you’re ignoring the people you could be helping.”

“No, I just refuse to hurt anyone else.” He snarled, heading towards the door.

“This is not like you; you don’t refuse to help people, Clint.”

“And you don’t normally jump to conclusions without knowing all the facts. Read the damn file from Xavier.”

Clint had almost made it back to his quarters when Bruce found him. He watched the scientist hurry towards him with a sense of foreboding. Lab coats had never been a favorite thing of his.

“Clint, do you have a second to talk?”

“Depends what it’s about, Banner.”

“Maybe we could go somewhere a bit more private?”

“Sure.” Clint said with a sigh, gesturing for Bruce to follow him as he led the way to his room. It was a tiny space with nothing more than a bed, shower closet, and a single chair for guests. Bruce took it in with a shocked expression.

“This is your room?”

“On this base, yeah. I don’t normally stay here much.”

“Right, sorry.”

“Was there something you needed to say? I kind of was on my way somewhere.” Clint pressed with a sigh.

“Right, yes. I wanted to ask if you needed help training.”

“I doubt you could help me in my training schedule, Banner.”

“I meant with your abilities. It sounded like you used meditation similar to what I do to control the Hulk.” Clint fought back a snort and the concept of the Hulk being under complete control.

“Most mutant abilities vary wildly, Banner. I only really use meditation when my control slips like when I’m injured. The rest of the time it’s just finding harmless ways to expend the energy.”

“Even so, I thought you might be interesting in letting Tony and I look into some emergency methods you could use to prevent spikes like this week.”

“The last thing I would want to be is someone’s lab rat, Banner, a sentiment I thought you would have shared.”

“You know Tony and I would never allow you to be experimented on, Clint.”

“You’re suggesting that I allow you to do exactly that.”

“No, I’m suggesting you let Tony and I help you.”

“I’ll think about it.” he ground out, fighting to restrain his temper and the instinctive spike in his powers.

“Good, that’s good. I guess I will see you later then.”

“Yeah, see you.” Clint grunted shutting the door behind Banner and dropping onto his bed with a groan. “Fuck my life.”

Clint grabbed his phone and keys before locking up his room. He might as well get out for a bit if everyone was going to hunt him down on base. He dropped by Sitwell’s office and let him know he was headed off base. He was barely ten feet down the hall before Steve almost ran him over.

“There you are.” He said with a grin, “I was hoping to catch you.”

“You caught me.” Clint said, crossing his arms over his chest and mentally cursing his luck. “Did you need something, Cap?”

“I wanted to talk to you about setting up a training session with the team this weekend.”

“Okay. What exactly are we focusing on?” Clint asked tugging the other man into an empty office and shutting the door.

“Integrating your new abilities into the team. We’re going to all need to get used to you having a more hands on role in the team.”

“So you want me to move away from being your long range coverage?” Clint bit out, fighting with his temper.

“Exactly, we can always use another heavy hitter on the team and we are going to need to work on transitioning you into that role.”

“And what if I don’t want to transition? I happen believe I work best in my current position, Rogers.”

“I’m not saying it will be every battle. We’ll still need a long range gunner sometimes but at times having you on the ground with the Hulk could be to our advantage.”

“You don’t think that one Hulk is enough?”

“What if we run into something that the Hulk can’t take on? We might need your energy abilities then, not to mention the healing if we get injuries on the team.”

“The healing I can agree with but I seriously doubt we are going to need a nuke going off mid battle, Rogers.”

“Who said anything about a nuke?”

“You did. I don’t have enough control to use my abilities off the cuff. You want me to nuke some baddie during a fight and I might take out half the city instead.”

“Then you need to train. Figure out your limits. Bruce has been doing wonders with the Hulk since he started working with the team.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not the Hulk, Rogers. You turn it on, you get all or nothing. There is no controlling it.”

“You did fine this week.”

“I almost took out half of New York several times over!”

“But you didn’t. I’m sure we can find somewhere remote for you to train like we’ve done with the Hulk. Give it a chance, Clint.”

“No, I’m sorry, but the answer is always going to be no.”

Clint needed to move. He stalked through the halls and tried to ignore how the other agents jumped out of his way, just a touch of fear in their motions. He hit the garage and mounted his bike before the lot officer could get out of his office. He ignored the shouts as he roared away, resisting flipping him off only by flooring the bike.

He lets his senses expand, sweeping along the road around him as he picked up speed. He focused only on the road, the bike under him, the roar of the motor and wind in his ears. He let it consume him until the gas light flashed at him hours later.

He pulled into the first station he passed, filled up, paid in cash, and was back on the highway in minutes. He pushed the engine hard and by the time he hit the coast the bike was sputtering slightly when he finally let it idle. Stopping at a small local store he bought a pair of jeans and new tee shirt, trashing his black Shield gear. Leaving the bike he started walking and didn’t stop until he hit the beach.

Hours later the beach was deserted and the sun long gone down but he couldn’t make himself move. Exhaustion thrummed through his veins while the pounding of the surf throbbed in his bones. His phone beeped that the battery was low and he shut it off without looking at the screen full of messages.

It was late the next morning when he found a dumpy hotel on the water and rented a room. He needed some distance from the cluster fuck that his life was becoming. Curling up in a patch of sun on the balcony he settled in to review his options. He had at least three days before he would be forced to call in to Shield. He kind of doubted that the team would give him that long.

He didn’t want to leave Shield but he wasn’t sure he could keep working with the team now that they knew about his abilities. He seriously doubted they would be okay with him not using his powers in the open. They wouldn’t understand that it was just too dangerous. He was the Hulk on steroids, a supernova in a human shell. All it would take was one lapse in control, one moment of hesitation and he and most of New York would be gone in a heartbeat.

He knew he was on the Avengers because Fury knew about his abilities and trusted him to survive battles that would have left most humans paraplegic. Fury was one of the few people that had readily agreed that his powers were too erratic to trust. Of course he was also one of the few people who had seen Clint lose control and survived to tell about it.

Clint pulled his phone off the charger and dialed waiting on the connection. Three access codes later he was finally transferred to the correct line. Fury answered with a snarling demand like always.

“Do I want to know why my techs informed me that you’re calling from California?”

“Not really. I need to know that if the team decides it doesn’t want me that I still have a place with Shield.”

“Is this a valid concern?”

“Several of my teammates have already expressed that I should be training my abilities.”

“And I take it you refused?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll talk to the team. When do you plan on returning?”

“I was kind of hoping you had something for me to do. I need to be doing...something.”

“I’ve got a class six mission you can handle. The chopper will pick up at six am. Don’t miss it.”

“Thank you, sir.” Clint said, hanging up and letting himself collapse back into the musty mattress. He set his alarm for five and let his muscles relax. Tomorrow he’d be back doing what he was born to do. Maybe by the time he returned the team will have given up on forcing him into a substitute Hulk.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Clint set his duffle onto his bunk with a sigh. It felt good to be back in New York. His Avengers phone had been left on the bedside table and the battery was dead. Plugging it in he started to unpack while he waited for it to charge enough for him to power it up.

Natasha had sent a coded message through Sitwell saying she would be waiting when he returned but he hadn’t heard anything else in the two weeks he’d spent running around several far flung desserts. He’d brought the small team he’d worked with back with only minimal scratches and all their targets taken down in half the original time table.

Over all it had been a good run even if he had been looked at with more hero worship then he was used to. After the utter hate that seemed to pour off most of the old helicarrier crew he’d been caught off guard by the agents who knew he was with the Avengers. Hell, one even asked for an autograph.

The whole situation was starting to feel too much like the last year or two he’d spent at the circus. He’d been the adored darling of the fans and Carson while the rest of the troop hated his guts and actively tried to sabotage his acts. The entire situation was tying his gut in knots.

Everything happening seemed to be determined to stress him out and bring up the bad parts of his past that he’d spent most of his life trying to forget. He was tired from the mission yet his body thrummed with energy. The more stressed he got the more his ability kicked in to pump his body full of energy that then had to be used.

Clint shoved the last of his newly cleaned clothes into his closet and powered up his phone while he checked his other two burner phones. One had a message from one of his old merc contacts. He would have to run that past Fury to see if he’d be allowed to start picking up missions outside of Shield again. His Avengers phone pinged softly announcing he had messages and voicemail.

_You have 32 voice mails. Press one to play the first message._

_Beep_

“Hey, Clint. It’s Bruce. Natasha told the team that you’d been called out on a mission. I just wanted to offer when you get back...if you want to meditate with me in the mornings I’m normally in my rooms around six am until eight or so.”

_Beep_

“Hey, Clint. It’s Steve. Come find me when you get back so we can schedule some training scenarios with the team. I think your abilities could help out a lot.”

_Beep_

“Legolas, I’ve got some new composites I want you to take a look at when you get back to the tower. Figured we could see just what your powers can fry or not if you're going to be using them in the tower. Also I may have retrofitted your rooms while you were out, let me know what you think.”

_Beep_

“Good afternoon, Agent Barton. Director Fury requested that you be allowed a room at the mansion if you need some space to decompress.” Professor Xavier said. “I have no problem with you visiting however if you’re looking for a more long term solution to stabilizing your abilities we may have to find a more remote location. Please let me know if you need my assistance.”

_Beep_

“Hey, Clint, it’s Bruce. Let us know when you get back. Steve’s been working with the team on changing up some of our normal battle plans and we need your input.”

_Beep_

The rest of the messages were the same, notes for him to contact the team to work on his abilities and how Tony was reworking his equipment to now be powered by Clint himself. Clint deleted each of the messages and connected his phone back to the charger. With a snarl he grabbed up his just emptied bag and started packing.

Grabbing up his phones and chargers he tossed everything in his bag after sending two short text messages. He needed to get his emotions back on lock down unless he wanted to destroy the base. All the team seemed to be able to do was piss him off right now and it wasn’t helping him get stabilized.

***

_Send Ronin out or lose him. - CB_

Director Fury glanced at the message on his phone with a frown. Hitting a button on his desk he asked his assistant to send Sitwell in ASAP. While he waited he started pulling the files that he saved for times like this.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Agent Barton has requested to be sent out.”

“He just returned, sir. Generally we like to give our agents at least a few days of downtime.”

“Normally, I would agree with you but this time I have to override normal procedure. Send him out and keep him moving.” Fury said passing over the stack of folders.

“Sir, these missions…”

“Are exactly what Barton needs right now. He’ll burn through the first few so I suggest you set them up near each other so there’s minimal down time for travel.”

“How long do you want me to keep pushing? These kinds of missions will burn out the best agents, Barton…”

“Frankly, Sitwell, I’m waiting for Barton to crash and burn. If he makes it though that stack and comes back in one piece I’ll re-evaluate the situation but I’m hoping he’ll take out his issues on the targets instead of blowing through Shield like wet tissue paper. Run him hard, Agent. Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_Out 4 Fury. Tell team. Don’t try n find me. - CB_

Phil read the text from Clint again for what had to be the hundredth time. The

man had run from the team straight into nonstop missions for the last six months. The Avengers were coping without their archer but the lack of eyes in the sky had led to several long missions that ran for hours while the team scrambled from one side of town to the other.

He was certain that everyone was regretting pressuring their teammate now that they saw how the team ran without him. Fights and training took twice as long and while Steve did most of the strategic planning, Clint often helped change plans mid battle if he saw things shifting. They’d now lost that insight and several battles had almost turned into inter-team brawls as Thor and Stark were forced to zip back and forth nonstop to cover the edges of the battlefield that Barton normally policed.

Lately, he was at the tower dealing with the team more than he was in his office at the Shield New York base. However today he was wandering the halls waiting for a flight to arrive. He’d gotten the notice four hours ago from Fury that Clint was returning to base and would need a ride.

He wanted to see for himself how his asset was doing. If he still looked as worn and angry as he had when he left then Phil would make sure the team gave him some space. If not they would head to the tower. He knew he had a snowball's chance in hell of hiding that the man was back in town from Stark but he’d do what he could to keep his interference to a minimum if Clint needed it.

As soon as the younger man shuffled from the plane Phil scrapped his original plans and stepped forward to guide him away from the main building.

“Coulson, I have to debrief.” Clint said but didn’t resist his directions.

“It’s been arranged, you can submit your reports in the next two days and go into debrief on Friday.” He’d make sure it was arranged; he thought fiercely taking in the weight Clint had lost and the utter exhaustion pulling his face into a sickly visage.

“You’re coming to my place. We can sort out the paperwork in the morning.”

“Don’t really want to go to the tower.”  
“Not the tower, my place.” Phil repeated, getting Clint into his car and buckled in while the archer blinked at him in shock.

“You stay at the tower.”

“I still have my apartment in town.”

“Oh.”

Phil drove watching Clint from the corner of his eye. The other man didn’t sleep on the short drive but he also made no move to fidget or fiddle with the radio like he normally would. They arrived and climbed out of the car in silence, Clint following behind Phil as he got the door and disarmed the alarm system.

“Use the bathroom in my room. I’ll set you out some towels.”

“Okay.” Clint said, slowly setting his go bag and weapons case in the corner of the living room.

“I was going to call for some food. Feel like pizza or Chinese?”

“Either.” Clint grunted, clearly not caring one way or the other.

“Okay, go get cleaned up.” Phil said, nudging him towards the master bedroom and its larger bath.

Phil quickly called in an order to the Chinese place around the corner. Digging in his closet he found some sweats and a tee-shirt Clint could wear, leaving them on the bathroom counter along with two fresh towels and an extra toothbrush. While he waited for the shower to finish he quickly changed the sheets on his and the spare bed and started a load of laundry.

He’d just finished laying out the food when Clint shuffled into the living room, his hair still dripping. Clint grabbed a tub of soup and box of fried rice, ignoring the boxes of his favorites that Phil had ordered. They sat and ate in silence, Phil getting them both another drink when his glass got low hoping to tempt Clint into eating more than half a bowl of egg drop soup.

“Do you want to stay up a bit or are you ready for bed?”

“Should probably go to bed.” Clint mumbled, pushing a few grains of rice around his plate.

“The spare bedroom is clean or you can use mine, your choice.” Phil said starting to gather up containers and dirty dishes.

“Where are you sleeping?” Clint asked hesitantly.

“Wherever you need me to. We can both sleep in my room if you want; the bed’s bigger than the ones we’ve shared on Shield ops at least.” Phil said, while Clint watched him for a long moment, exhaustion filling every slumped line of his body.

“Yours.” he said finally.

“Go on and get comfortable then, I need to finish putting everything up.”

Clint nodded and shuffled into the bedroom. Phil watched him go with a small sigh. He finished cleaning up and putting away the rest of the food before heading to the bedroom.

Clint was a blanket covered lump in the middle of the bed. Phil huffed a soft laugh and gathered his own sleep pants and heading to take his own shower. He’d never managed to completely shed his military training and fifteen minutes later he was ready for bed.

“Thank you.” Clint said softly shifting to the side to make room as Phil started easing his way under the covers trying to not jolt the other man.

“For what?”

“Not treating me different.”

‘You’re the same Clint I’ve always worked with. Super powers don’t change that.” Phil said softly, shifting as he settled into his side of the bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The next morning was slow and lazy. Phil made waffles with peanut butter, one of Clint’s favorites, and they slowly nibbled while Clint fiddled with a tablet and Phil read the paper. He was deliberately ignoring the strobing of his silenced phone in the living room; he guaranteed there were at least twenty messages or texts from the avengers and at least ten from Shield. They could learn to work and live without him for twenty four hours.

“Any plans for today?”

“I have to write up my report.” Clint said, pushing away from the table and taking his dishes to the sink.

“You can always do that tomorrow.” Phil pointed out, making himself not watch as the archer shuffled towards his bags still waiting near the door, hitching at the too long sweats of Phil’s that he was wearing.

“I’d rather do it today.” He said pulling out his notes and a thin laptop computer.

“Alright, you’re welcome to use the office here if you want.”

“Thanks.”

“I was planning to run a few errands this afternoon. Would you like to join me?” Phil said as casually as he could, not letting himself fiddle as he collected his own dirty dishes and started loading the dishwasher.

“Where?”

“Just to the grocery store, dry cleaner, that kind of thing. I was thinking about maybe stopping somewhere for lunch.” Phil said, straightening up and starting to wipe down the countertop. “I can bring you something back if you don’t want to go.”

“Nah, let me get my report typed up and get some laundry done. We can go to lunch first and do the errands afterward if you don’t mind?”

“That sounds good. I’ll get some chores out of the way here while you work. Just let me know when you’re ready to go.”

Phil had been puttering about the apartment for hours now and the place was cleaner than it’d been in years. Shield had been dealt with and they both had two weeks off of duty once Clint turned in his mission reports and debriefed. He finally checked his phone and texted the team that Clint was back in town but to give him a few days before they tracked him down. Ten minutes later there was a delivery man at the door with bags of clothes for Clint, groceries, and enough gourmet accessories that they had no need to leave the apartment for at least a week, courtesy of Miss Potts.

With most of his errands now completed for him Phil left the bag of clothes for Clint in the bathroom and tossed the last bag of his laundry for the dry cleaners next to the front door. With nothing left to do he collapsed into the couch and turned on some documentary as background noise while he reviewed the last few months. He still hadn’t decided if he should let Clint know just how much Shield knew about him.

Fury had given him the full file on Ronin, Hawkeye, and Clint Francis Barton after Clint’s second disappearance. Phil had spent half the time Clint was gone bouncing between utterly denying the information and trying to understand how it was even possible. Considering he spent most of his time around a Norse god, a super solider from the 1940s, and two genius inventors who had altered their own bodies there really wasn’t any way he could deny the facts.

Clint Francis Barton had been born in Waverly, Iowa. He’d been orphaned at a young age and run away from an orphanage to live and work for Carson’s Carnival of Wonders. He’d been billed as the Amazing Hawkeye, Greatest Marksman in the World and when he was seventeen his brother, Barney and his mentor had almost killed him and left him for dead. That was where the strange part happened.

The only record of a Carson’s Carnival of Wonders that Shield could find was from 1910 to 1950. There were even a handful of authentic posters showcasing the Amazing Hawkeye complete with dates, from 1935 to 1940. Shield then loses track of Clint Barton but soon after the rumors and notes start circulating about an assassin going by the name of Hawkeye.

Ten years later Hawkeye disappeared and was replaced with Ronin. Ronin popped up seemingly randomly over the next sixty years earning a fearsome reputation as an assassin who would wipe out entire organizations if one of those he protected was injured or killed. Both Ronin and Hawkeye had been known to pick their targets by some moral code they followed, only hunting the scum of the earth or those who hurt the ones they considered innocent.

If the files were true then Clint was the same age as Steve Rogers, only instead of sleeping under the ice for seventy years he’d been living as a reclusive assassin. Phil couldn’t figure out how to broach the subject of his best friend and coworker being over 90 years old but looking like he was in his late twenties or early thirties. His mutant abilities didn’t seem to prevent him from aging but he had looked noticeably younger after his jumps around the US.

Could this explain why Clint hated celebrating his birthday? Phil had only tried to push the matter once, arranging for the team and a few coworkers to meet up at a favorite bar. Clint had walked in, taken in the nervous cast of everyone not sure how an assassin would react to a surprise party and turned around and walked out without a word. It took Natasha tracking him down a week later to convince him to come back.

It was almost noon when Clint finally left the office and went to change into some clothes that actually fit. He emerged from the back of the house wearing sharply creased jeans and a sleek expensive black sweater. Picking up his beat up combat boots he fussed with the sleeves making a face, it was about as far from his normal attire at home as you could get.

“Blame Pepper, I think she wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” Phil said with a soft laugh.

“They know I’m back?”  
“Yes, but I asked them to give you a day or two to get over the jet lag before they descended upon us.”

“Like locusts.” He said with a small huff tugging the hems of his pants into place. “Where were we going to eat?”

“That depends on what you want? Craving anything?”

“Carbs?”

“Steakhouse or pasta?”

“Pasta.”

“Italian it is. We can go to Nona’s if that’s okay?”

“Sure.”

They dropped off the dry cleaning and headed to Nona’s, a small hole in the wall restaurant he had found years ago during a stake out in the area. They ate mostly in silence savoring the authentic Italian and red wine that the friendly staff served. Clint asked after what the team and Shield had been up to while he was out and Phil had enjoyed filling him in on some of the more memorial blunders and fights the team had been part of.

Once they were back at the apartment they settled on separate ends of the couch and Phil put on an old movie they could veg out to. Phil tried to settle in but he just couldn’t get his mind to quiet. Too much had happened in the last few months that he was dying to talk to Clint about.

“Alright, what’s got you so uptight?” Clint asked finally as Phil fidgeted with the blanket he’d pulled over their feet. “Is there a big mission you’re supposed to be prepping for?”

“No, nothing like that.” Phil said with a huff. “Fury’s given both of us two weeks off.”

“Nice of him.”

“You’re due some downtime and I haven’t taken a vacation in years.”

“Then what’s got you worked up?”

“Fury gave me your full file.”

“Oh.”

“I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I wanted you to know that I knew the full story so in case you ever needed to talk to anyone.”

“And the team?”

“No, only myself and Directory Fury know the full story. You’re welcome to tell the team or not as you decide.”

“When did you find out?”

“A few days after you left Fury called me in and gave me your full files.”

“So last night…”

“I meant it. You’re still Clint to me, no matter what abilities you have.” Phil said with a small grin, “Though I might pick your brain on what it was like growing up in the 1930s.”

“Yeah, I found out that Steve might have even have went to one of my shows at one point. Think he remembers?”

“At this point I think he’s just trying to forget and live in the current century as best he can.”

“About what I did.” Clint agreed with a snort shifting so they were sitting next to each other, legs sharing the ottoman.

“But you didn’t have the 70 year gap in technology to deal with. What were you doing anyway? Shield found a lot of rumors about Ronin and some news articles about possible targets being eliminated but not much that was concrete.”

“I traveled around, it was too hard watching people live their lives, age, and die. It was easier not to get attached to anything.”

“And yet you kept saving people. You could have lived any life you wanted to, studied, married, had a family and instead you ran around the world saving people.”

“So many people got hurt because of me at first. I kept losing control of my powers. I thought I needed to even the scales.”

“Then why did you come in? Why Shield?”

“I’d seen the good that Shield was doing and helped out where I could on a few missions. I liked how they handled themselves and that they never seemed to leave their soldiers behind if they could help it.”

“And you got Fury’s attention how exactly?”  
“I knew a contact that he talked to and sent a message. He sent a lackey and I turned up in his office to protest. He was all ready to shoot me with that stupid laser gun you guys were using at the time.”

“I’ll have to get his side of the story.”

“I’m sure he’ll enjoy having someone to complain to now. He seems to like kicking me out of his office now that I’m an employee.”

“I always wondered what you had on him to keep your job at times.” Phil said with a snort, “Anyone else would have been out on their butt in the first month. You pulled so much shit while you were a probationary agent.”

“Like when?” Clint asked with a grin.

“Setting Romero on fire for one thing. I never did find out what he’d done to you.”

“They never proved I was the one who did it and he deserved it. The guy was an ass.”

“It was a known fact that he was but most people wouldn’t have set a fellow agent on fire for name calling. What did he really do?”

“If we’re going to do this I need to know that what we’re talking about doesn’t go anywhere, not to Fury, not to Natasha, nowhere.”

“Alright, you have my word it won’t go any farther.”

“He raped a junior agent. I tried to get her to turn him in but she’d already put in for a transfer to a different base.”

“You should have told me. I would have dealt with him.”

“I made her promise to get treatment when she got on base and called to check on her. She’s all but running the Orlando base now.”

“You made Romero’s life a living hell. He finally died in a mission gone wrong six months later.”

“I made sure he didn’t touch anyone in those six months either.” Clint snarled.

“I wish you had told me about it even so. If something happens like that again I want to know, Clint.”

“That was before you were my handler. I was still in the general pool while you finished up with some training you were doing.”

“I still would have dealt with it.” Phil said shifting on the couch.

“I didn’t know you then, Phil.” Clint said bumping him with his shoulder.

“You’re right; I shouldn’t be punishing you for things in the past. I’m sorry.” Phil said with a huff, “I just hate that you had to shoulder that alone. Things like that are what handlers are supposed to be keeping an eye out for and Romero’s handler missed it.”

“That’s not your fault, Phil.”

“But if his handler missed that what else did he miss? I’m going to email Hill and have her look back through the files just in case.”

“Which is exactly why every agent wants you to be their handler, Phil, you look out for us.”

“That’s what a handler is supposed to do, Clint. We’re supposed to support our assets and keep them safe, in and out of the field.”

“I never understood why you were so willing to brush away my fuck ups. You let me get away with so fucking much.”

“Not really. You did more than your fair share of scud work over the years.”

“Yeah, but seriously, why didn’t you try and crack down on me? Most people would have.”

“You always had a good reason for whatever you did.” Phil said finally. “If you punched someone you had a moral reason to do so. If you jumped out of your blind it was because you needed a better line of sight to save someone’s life. You almost never did things just for the hell of it, and when you did I punished you as Shield rules directed.”

Clint went silent for a time and Phil went back to watching the movie. He could see Clint was working something through his mind. He left him be, he’d learned that pushing the archer while he was working on something just lead to him retreating until he decided how he was going to react.

“Phil?” Clint finally said his voice soft and hesitant.

“Yes?”

“We’re friends, right?”

“Of course, I would have to say at this point you’re one of my best friends.”

“One of them?”

“Natasha would kill the both of us if we left her out.”

“Probably true,” Clint agreed with a soft laugh, “She’s been my best friend since we beat the crap out of each other and I dragged her back to the safe house.”

“Which time?”

“Budapest,” Clint said laughing.

“Why are you asking exactly?”

“I just don’t think a lot of the team, maybe even Natasha, will forgive me if the rest of my life story comes out.”

“If they don’t then we will just have to find you a new team to work with. I’ll go wherever you need me, Clint. If you need a transfer in order to be comfortable then we’re transferring.”

“You can’t just leave the Avengers, Fury won’t let you.”

“Watch me.” Phil snapped, “If that’s what you need then we’re going. Just say the word, Clint.”

“I don’t want to leave. I was just starting to like Stark and Rogers before everything came out. We could be a good team.” Clint said with a sigh.

“Then if you are willing, we need to have a meeting with everyone. Make sure they understand their options.” Phil said, “You don’t have to tell them about everything, just what you are comfortable with.”

“We’re talking about Stark and Natasha; they’re going to piece things together eventually.”

“That still doesn’t mean that you need to tell them anything tomorrow or even anytime in the next month.”

“Alright,” Clint said with a sigh, shifting so he was slouched down in the couch.

“When do you want me to set up the meeting with the team?”

“End of the week? I just need a few days to breathe before we drag everything back up.”

“Far enough, I’ll let them know.”

“Good.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Phil tried not to read anything into how easily Clint and he slid into a domestic situation. They hung out at his apartment trading back and forth who cooked which meal and who did dishes without complaint. Clint fell asleep curled against him each night and sometimes caught naps when Phil was reading, each curled on separate sides of the couch, legs warm against each other’s.

It would be such a small step to push it into a real relationship yet Phil held himself back. Clint was finally getting stable and healthy and he would rather carve his own heart out then send him into another downward spiral. He didn’t want the possibility of a relationship to ruin their friendship either; the archer really was his best friend in all the ways that counted.

“Time for bed?” Clint asked, stretching and flexing his toes against Phil’s thigh.

“Yeah, might as well. We still have another day before we have to head to the tower. Was there anything you wanted to do?”

“Nah, just lazing around is fine.”

“Alright, that sounds good to me.” Phil said heading in to brush his teeth, swapping places with Clint when he was done and changing into a pair of sleep pants but leaving off the tee shirt, Clint put out enough heat at night that he didn’t really need even the sheets to stay warm. Clint was wearing only boxers, letting Phil appreciate the expanse of golden skin with a mental sigh.

“Good night, Phil.” Clint said tugging the sheet into place as he climbed into bed.

“Good night, Clint.” Phil said, shifting until he found a good position and slowly relaxed into sleep.

Phil woke up warm and relaxed. The body in his arms shifted slightly and he held on a bit tighter, throwing a leg across their hip to tangle with the other man’s shins and letting him hitch his hardening cock along the warm fabric and skin between them. His hands mapped the muscular stomach and chest while he buried his nose in the soft head of hair, his hips rocking slightly against a perfect ass.

This was perfect, Phil hummed softly, breathing in the musk of the man in his arms. He stroked along his chest and side absently as he let himself enjoy the moment. The man shifted, rocking back into the motion making Phil moan. He grumbled when the body in his arms pulled away for a moment but he was just turning so that he could wind his arms around Phil and press sleepy kisses along his jaw.

Yes, that was nice. They slowly rocked and ground against each other, slowly stroking every bit of skin they could reach for some undetermined time. Phil decided he loved this dream and had no intention of ever waking up.

A soft gasp of ‘Phil.’ against one ear jerked him out of sleep, rearing back slightly, blinking at the sleep mussed form of Clint Barton spread out beneath him, red lipped and stubble burned. “Shit,” he bit out trying to pull away, “Sorry.” Clint’s arms locked around him forcing him back down against the other man.

“Don’t, please.” Clint said, hands stroking lightly against Phil’s back. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that. Hell, Phil, I’ve loved you for years. I just never thought you would want to date me.”

“I’ve wanted to date you since you first walked into my office.” Phil said, collapsing against the other man and burying his face into his neck. “I didn’t think you would want to date your boss. We worked so good together I didn’t want to screw that up.”

“We don’t work together now.” Clint said softly rubbing one thumb in slow circles against Phil’s hip.

“I didn’t want to lose you if things didn’t work out.”

“I don’t want that either, you’re my best friend, Phil. I never want to lose that. Hell, you’re the only person on the planet right now who knows everything about me and isn’t terrified or trying to use me.”

“Exactly why this is probably a bad idea. I don’t want you doing this just because of me knowing your past.”

“Hell, Phil, I’ve wanted to date you for the last ten years. Adding in this week just makes it that much better.” Clint said pulling the other man up to press a quick kiss against the corner of his mouth. “I don’t care; I want you, now and for as long as you will put up with me.”

“I just got you back, Clint. I don’t want to be the reason you run next time.”

“Then that will be our rule. If I have to run, I have to call you first and I keep a phone handy so you can call me.” Clint said slowly like he was feeling out the idea as each word left his mouth.

“You would promise that?” Phil asked, pushing away so that he could see Clint’s face.

“If it means I get to keep you, yeah. You never push when I run and I think I could deal with calling you. If things are that bad you’ll probably know about it anyway.”

“I don’t know if I can go slow with this.” Phil said, dropping slow kisses against his neck and jaw.

“Then don’t we have the next twenty four hours to take our time. Heck, we can have every night the both of us are in the same room for the rest of the month knowing Fury.”

“Rule one, no talking work in bed.” Phil said with a laugh.

“Deal, but I doubt we’re going to be able to keep it.” Clint said nipping softly along Phil’s neck.

“Then let me give you something else to think about.” Phil said with a grin, kissing Clint fiercely as he reached between them to grasp Clint’s cock in one hand, stroking and gently squeezing through his sleep pants.

“Want you in me, fuck, please, want you in me.” Clint panted when they finally came up for air making Phil groan and bite at his lips before breaking away.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Do you have lube?”

“Yes, but no condoms. I wasn’t exactly expecting this.” Phil said with an embarrassed laugh.

“I know you’re clean and I can’t catch anything and haven’t been with anyone in a long time. Shield always kept us too busy to have a real relationship. I didn’t want just a quick fuck, I don’t want that now.”

“Good, I have no intention of giving you up now that I have you.” Phil growled kissing him hard for a moment before pulling away to get the lube out of the night stand. Clint reached for the bottle only to have Phil push him back into the mattress.

“Let me, please?”

“Shit.” Clint whined as he relaxed into the mattress watching as Phil quickly stripped out of his sleep pants tossing them to the side before he dropped to his hands and knees, nosing and mouthing at where Clint’s erection was straining at his boxers.

Clint watched barely daring to breathe as Phil slowly pulled his boxers off pressing a kiss to each new inch of skin exposed. He tugged them off in a rush once Clint’s cock slipped free tossing them carelessly behind him as he pressed a sucking kiss to the head jerking a strangled whine from Clint’s throat. Phil sucked and licked as he slid one lube slick finger in gentle circles against the rim of his entrance.

He shuddered and moaned as he was ever so slowly breached and stretched. His hips hitched with the burn of two fingers being added but the discomfort was quickly overrode with pleasure as Phil stroked gently at his prostate with his fingertips. Phil held Clint’s hips down with his other hand when he tried to push back further.

“God, you are beautiful.” Phil hummed pressing kitten licks to the tip of Clint’s cock to catch the welling precum. “Look at you.”

“Need you in me, please.” Clint whined hands fisted in the sheets.

Phil surged up, removing his fingers and kissing Clint hard, all teeth and tongue. He backed up slicking his length with lube. He pressed one last chaste kiss to his lips before lifting Clint’s legs. Phil froze for an instant cupping one hand against his cock as Clint proved just how flexible he was, pulling his knees up to his chin and reaching for Phil.

He licked his lips and stroked that perfect ass for a moment before he braced himself and started a slow push in. They both groaned as Phil slid in steadily until he bottomed out, pressed as close as they could get. He held there barely daring to breathe as he adjusted to the tightness and heat.

“Please, Phil, god, fuck me.”

“Don’t think I can do slow.” Phil bit out shifting slightly as he started tiny rocking thrusts while Clint clung to him like he never wanted to let go.

“Fast is good, come on fuck me hard.”

“You want it hard.”  
“Want to feel it for the rest of the week, want to know I’m yours.”

“Gonna mark you up until everyone knows you’re taken.”

“God, yes.”

With a growl Phil pulled out until only the head of his cock was still buried in that delicious heat before slamming back in. Everything dissolved into the steady pounding thrusts, the sweat coating his skin, and the rhythmic gasps and slap of skin on skin. He knew he wouldn’t last at this pace and he snaked a hand around to grip at Clint’s cock, letting each thrust push it through his tight hold.

Clint’s body snapped tight as a wire, his vision whiting out as he came with a shout, cum striping his stomach while Phil cursed in his ear and fucked him through the aftershocks. He shuddered as Phil came, his cock twitching within him as he moaned his own release. They lay there slowly coming down exchanging slow kisses before Phil went to grab a washcloth to clean them both off.

“Something I need to know?” Phil asked when he came out to Clint lazily stroking himself back to hardness.

“I don’t really have a refractory period.” Clint said with a lazy grin, hips jerking as he thumbed at the head of his cock.

“We might have to confirm that.” Phil said wiping down the other man’s chest and stomach but he couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to the tip of his straining cock.

“It could take a lot of trials.” Clint agreed pulling him up to kiss and lick his way into the man’s mouth until they both were moaning.

“I won’t be able to get it up that many times.”

“Doesn’t mean we both still won’t enjoy it,” Clint said pressing another kiss to his lips, “and when you do recover you can fuck me again.”

“If we do this we’re taking breaks every hour to make sure we’re both hydrated.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t sass me brat, or I won’t be letting you fuck me.”

“Oh god yes, you’d let me?”

“After I give you a mind blowing blowjob.” Phil said tweaking a nipple just to see Clint squirm, “Let’s put that theory to the test.”

“Death by sex sounds good right now, fuck.” Clint moaned as Phil pinned his hands above his head and sucked a bruise against one side of his neck.

They spent the next twenty four hours tangled together having sex or curled against each other talking. Phil had never spent such a relaxed weekend with any of his previous lover and it only proved how compatible they were together to him all over again. He pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of his lover’s mouth and absently wondered how long he needed to wait before he asked Clint to move in with him.

***

Friday morning they made love again, slow and gentle with each other. There was no telling how the day would play out with the rest of the team but they would have each other from now on. Clint clutched Phil to him afterwards and tried to not let himself worry; Phil wouldn’t let him get railroaded by the team or worked up enough to run. He was tired of running and being alone.

They showered together stealing touches and kisses as they cleaned up and got dressed afterward. The drive to the tower was done in silence. Phil suddenly pulled Clint into a deep kiss before they got out of the car.

“What was that for?”

“Luck, I have a feeling we’ll both need it today.”

“Natasha’s going to take one look at us and know we’re together.”

“Did you want to keep it quiet?” Phil asked trying to read behind the blank mask his partner was wearing.

“I don’t want to hide you away like a dirty secret but I don’t want to listen to Tony ribbing us for the next three years either.” Clint said with a sigh.

“Leave Tony to me. You go in and play assassin twins with Natasha; it makes her happy and scares Tony which is always a bonus.”

“You always have the best plans.” Clint said with a grin climbing out of the car.

They were silent in the elevator, deliberately not looking at each other so their masks were firmly in place when they stepped out of the elevator, Clint paused so they walked in side by side. The team was waiting for them spread out across the common floor. Clint made a beeline for where Natasha was seated on one of the couches.

He dropped carelessly next to her, dropping an arm over the couch behind her and offering her a knife with the other hand. It was one of his that he’d never allowed her to use. They’d argued about it a few times but it had been a favorite that he wasn’t willing to loan out.

She took it silently, eyes scanning him as she thumbed the edge. Nodding once, she turned to face the rest of the room, the knife disappearing into some hidden pocket. Clint let his mouth twitch in an aborted smile before he got his mask back in place, he was forgiven and she would have his back with the others if they got in their way.

“Good to see you again, Clint.” Steve said from his spot the couch across from them.

“You as well, Steve.” Clint said with a small grin at the team leader, he was still looking the archer over like he was hiding injuries but that was normal when one of them came back after a mission away.

“How was your trip? Did Shield keep you busy?” Bruce asked coming in and setting a tray with cups and a tea pot on the central coffee table before he took his own cup to a chair to one side.

“It was pretty uneventful, standard runs.” Clint said ignoring the way Natasha shifted minutely beside him; he’d have to give her the full details later.

“You here for a few days, Katniss or are you headed back out?” Tony asked from his spot near the windows.

“A few weeks probably, I’ve earned a bit of a break since I’ve been doing missions pretty much back to back since I left.”

“You look like you could use the rest.” Bruce said softly, looking the man over with concern.

“I’m fine, just a little burnt out and tired. A bit of time off should set things right.”

“So what, Phil just swooped in and took you home as soon as you landed? Wasn’t aware you needed a babysitter, Merida.” Tony said his eyes sharp as he scanned over Phil and Clint. Clint asked Phil silently with his eyes how he wanted to play this, he’d never liked hiding things but he would if Phil wanted.

“It’s normally customary to spend a small bit of time with your significant other after a long time away, Stark.” Phil said with a one of his thin sarcastic smiles, “Even you saw Pepper first when you got back from your last business trip.”

“Wait a minute, you and the Hawk hooked up? When did that happen?”

“Those two have been dancing around each other for years, Stark.” Natasha said with a smirk, “I’m glad you finally decided to make a move, Coulson.”

“Good to see we have your blessing, Natasha.”

“As long as you both understand that if you hurt each other I’m going to have to kill the non-injured party.”

“Okay, shovel talk over, who’s for pizza?” Tony asked breaking the awkward silence with his normal over the top air.

***

The next few days at the tower were tense as the rest of the team tried to not set Clint off like they had last time. It finally came to a head when they were all in the gym working out. Clint had been determined to keep things low key but Natasha insisted he spar with her so she could see how out of shape he was.

He tried to lose himself in the fight, grinning as they traded blows slowly working up to the more complex holds and take downs. He let his vision narrow until the only thing that existed was the woman he was fighting, the brisk air in his lungs, and the smooth flow of each motion. He couldn’t lose the knowledge of the others watching him however, feeling the sharp edge of their gaze against his back.

When they finally broke apart they were both bloody and grinning like idiots. Bruce was looking on with concern clearly listing out each injury to himself while Tony was working on his phone ignoring them completely. Steve was the one who was looking on with a blank expression like he wasn’t sure how to react.

Clint went and took a shower afterward taking his time to see which Avenger would break first. He ignored everyone as he dropped next to the wall and started to meditate. Tony had left but Steve and Bruce were still hovering to one side.

He did his best to ignore them and let a thread of power loose to heal his injuries. He double checked all his mental locks while he was at it, letting the feel of the power thrumming in his bones calm him. Bruce and Steve were waiting a few feet away when he opened his eyes.

“Problem, guys?”

“I just wanted to check that you healed yourself and didn’t need any help?” Bruce said with a raised eyebrow.

“I already healed everything, I’m good.”

“Good, are you joining everyone later for dinner? I think it’s Stark’s turn to order so we’re getting take out probably.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to head down.”

“Good, I’ll see you then.” Bruce said with a smile heading out of the gym and to his lab.

“What do you need, Rogers?”  
“Why didn’t you offer to heal Natasha?”

“She didn’t ask and she was rather adamant that I not heal or affect her with my powers without telling her first.”

“You still could have offered.”

“If it bothers you that much I’ll offer the next time I see her but she’s going to turn me down.”

“Why would she do that?”  
“She spent most of her life having people experiment on her, Rogers. I get why she doesn’t want some random ability used on her until she gets comfortable with it. I’ll offer when I see her.” Clint said with a huff, pulling himself upright and pushing back the other man.

“Are you still planning to visit local hospitals?”

“When I’m not on mission or trying to recover.” Clint said stepping into the elevator and slumping against the metal when the doors closed.

Why did Steve have to be so focused on Clint using himself up to help the rest of society? Was he just seen as some machine that worked for Shield, the team, and healed as many people as possible without ever bothering to have a life? Clint had tried to do that for a while when he first discovered his powers and it meant he was almost too run down to heal himself when his brother and mentor decided to leave him for dead.

He wasn’t God and he would have to figure out a way for Rogers to realize that. He couldn’t raise the dead or perform miracles. He manipulated energy in small ways, healing and helping but most of the time it just wound up hurting someone, either Clint or the people around him.

Clint had never been so relieved to see Phil waiting for him when he got to his floor. He froze and watched from the door as Phil took off his tie and toed off his shoes. Phil turned to watch him with a smile and Clint was walking into his arms before he’d fully decided to move.

“Bad day?” Phil asked mildly, pulling the other man into a tight hug and burying his nose in his hair.

“Long,” Clint said with a groan, “We’re invited to dinner with the team.”

“It’s a good thing I got home early then.” Phil said with a wicked grin, sucking on one of Clint’s earlobes suggestively.

“Fuck, want you in me so bad.” Clint groaned as he thrust his rapidly hardening cock against the other man’s hip.

“I think we have time for a quick shower. Go get the water running while I finish get undressed.” Phil said with a hum, pressing a kiss to the shell of Clint’s ear.

Clint all but ran to the bathroom stripping as he went while Phil followed at a slower pace savoring the sight of his naked lover as he disappeared into the bathroom. He stripped quickly but took the time to put up both his and Clint’s dirty clothes before snagging a bottle of lube and heading into the bathroom. Clint had the water up high and the room was quickly filling with steam.

“How was your day? Did the team behave?” Phil asked as he set the lube to one side and grabbed the body wash.

“Steve’s still being a bit pushy.” Clint said groaning slightly when Phil pulled him flush against him and started to gently wash his chest and shoulders, massaging lightly as he went. “He wanted to know when I was going to start healing at the hospitals again.”

“I’ll talk to him, you need to be back up to a normal weight first.”

“I don’t think he cares if I burn myself out, he just wants to see the people healed.”

“He out of everyone should understand that everything comes with a price. I’ll talk to him.” Phil said with a sigh going back to his slow massage.

They cleaned each other slowly while exchanging lazy kisses. It was only due to the never ending hot water at the tower that they weren’t chased out to the bed in a hail of icy water as they lazily stroked and teased each other. Phil was just pressing into Clint using one of the benches in the large shower when Jarvis interrupted.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, sirs, however Sir wished to know if you will be joining the others for dinner?”  
“We’ll be there in ten minutes, Jarvis.” Phil bit out as Clint cursed in several languages.

“I’m going to kill you if you don’t start moving.” Clint ground out tightening his legs like he would be able to pull Phil deeper by will alone.

“Hold on.” Phil snarled back as he started thrusting in short harsh jabs against Clint’s prostate that left him a screaming mess.

It didn’t take long for both of them to cum after the long buildup. Phil pulled out and let his seed stripe along Clint’s neck and chest. They kissed shakily before he pulled Clint up and they cleaned up for the last time that night. Twenty minutes later they were downstairs accepting a plate from Bruce with a smile and trying not to blush as Tony kept tossing innuendo laden comments their way.

Phil watched Clint grin at some comment Natasha had made with a small private smile. Clint was healing and relaxing back into the team’s dynamic like he’d never left. Most of the team seemed to be accepting that Clint was still the man he’d been before the revelations of his abilities. The only outlier was Steve Rogers who was hovering to the back of the group watching Clint like he was an unknown variable that might explode at any moment.

“Do you have a moment to talk?” Phil asked softly when he reached the super soldier’s side.

“Privately?”

“Just by the windows if you like.”  
“Sure, is something the matter with Clint?” Steve asked trailing Phil across the room and out of hearing distance of the team.

“No, actually the issue is you, Captain Rogers. I spoke with Clint and he said you were pressuring him to start healing again.”

“It’s not that I don’t want him to get back to full strength but why can’t he be helping others while he recovers?”  
“Healing expends a massive amount of energy, energy he should be using to recover.”  
“But doesn’t his ability generate massive amounts of energy? He could be using that while he recovers.”  
“Would you want someone operating heavy machinery or weapons while exhausted?” Phil asked his tone mild and inquisitive.   
“Of course not.” Steve said sharply blinking in shock.

“Then why are you asking Clint to do the same?” he asked raising one eyebrow, “He’s exhausted from his missions and you’re asking him to use his abilities, abilities which can kill as easily as heal, when he’s not at his best. If anything happens because he’s too exhausted to fully control himself he would never forgive himself.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Steve said frowning.

“Isn’t it? You want him to use his abilities while he’s exhausted and still recovering. Do you really want to force him into a situation where he’s forced to choose between saving lives and his own recovery?”

“No, I just thought he could continue to help in some capacity. There are so many incurable diseases right now and it seems a waste to have such an ability and not be using it to help where he can.”

“He can help those in need, but he’s got to be the judge of when he’s fit to start healing again. If you rush him you will be forcing him into a situation where people could be hurt simply because he’s not fully recovered.

“I understand.”

“Good, I’ll talk with Clint and see when he thinks he will be up to continuing healing but for now he needs to concentrate on healing himself.”

“Of course, I’m sorry if I was implying that his recovery wasn’t as important. We need him at his best in case there’s a mission or battle he’s needed in. I guess I just assumed that is ability would sustain him.”

“Everything comes at a price, Captain, even if you can’t see it. Clint will be fit for missions if he’s needed but let him decide when he restarts healing again.”

“Very well, I just hated to think of those he could be helping.” Steve said with a frown.   
“He will be back healing soon, he just needs to recuperate himself fully first.”

“I understand, I’ll try and back off.”

“That’s all I’m asking.” Phil said letting himself relax out of what he thought of as his Agent Mask.

“I would like to go with Clint when he is back up to it however, I’ve been volunteering a good bit in our downtime and I’d like to help if I can.” Steve added earnestly, the man really was too good hearted for this day and age.

“Of course, I’ll make sure you’re invited.”  
“Thank you, Agent Coulson.” Steve said with a small smile.

“Phil, please.”

“Steve.” He said extending his hand and shaking Phil’s with a grin.

Later that night Clint and Phil lay curled around each other in bed simply enjoying the comfort of being held by someone they loved. Phil was surprised at how willing Clint was to be held and touched, he’d always avoided physical contact with other agents if it could be helped. He seemed genuinely happy to be held but outside of the bedroom restricted himself to small touches to a shoulder or arm and nothing that could be called demonstrative or lingering.

“You’re thinking too loud.” Clint muttered into his neck, tightening his arms for a handful of heartbeats before he relaxed back into the bed, “Did Steve say something?”

“No, he agrees you need to recover fully before you go back to healing but he wants to accompany you when you start back. Apparently he’s been volunteering at several hospitals.”

“The eternal boy scout.”

“I’m afraid so.” Phil said untangling himself and propping himself up on one arm so he could see Clint’s face.

“He made me ask Natasha if she needed me to heal her after our spar, I thought she was going to shoot me.”

“He does mean well.” Phil said with a sigh.

“Was that the only thing on your mind?” Clint asked with a frown, shifting onto his back so he could see Phil easier.

“I know it’s kind of early in a relationship to be asking this but… do you want to move in with me?”

“You mean here at the tower?” Clint asked gesturing to the rooms around them, they’d been staying in Phil’s rooms since Clint’s were still mostly guest rooms with little personal touches or even belongings.   
“And at my apartment since I would like to keep it so we can get some time away from the tower if we needed it.”

“Are you sure, I mean I know I can be messy and even Natasha tells me constantly that I’m annoying.”

“I want you to move in, Clint. I want to spend as much time with you as possible and once we both go back to work living together will make that easier. I want to be with you, Clint. You in all your messy, annoying glory. I don’t want you to change a thing. I want you.”

“Really?”

“For as long as you are willing to put up with me.” Phil said pressing a kiss to the other man’s temple, “I’m not perfect either, Clint, and I can’t promise that we won’t fight and have our own issues but I can’t see anything that would make me want to leave you. I want to be here for better or worse.”

“Till death do us part?”  
“Only if they finally allow gay marriage in New York.”

“You’d be willing to if they did?”  
“If that was what it took to keep you at my side for the rest of my life? Yes.”

Clint fell silent and just let himself be held. No one had ever offered to stay, they tolerated him until finally he was kicked to the curb. No one had ever asked to keep him.

“I know it’s a big deal and you can take all the time you want to think about it.”

“Marriage or moving in?” Clint asked with a faint smile unable to resist needling his friend and now lover.

“Moving in but if you want I can do a proper proposal.”

“Let’s see how things go. If at the end of the week you still want me to move in I’ll make a decision.”

“Alright.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The next few weeks were the best that Clint had ever had. He moved in with Phil after just a few days and they relaxed into the shared space like they’d been together for years. He went back to healing and started going to different hospitals once a week with a small crew of Shield officers to smooth the doctor’s pride as he healed their patients that had been at death’s door or languishing in back patient wards in comas.

He let himself relax into his new pattern of life and clutched at Phil each night like he never wanted to let go. Clint had never gotten to keep the good things when they happened and he dreaded when this too would be taken away. He still needed to decide if he wanted to tell the rest of the team the full story of his abilities or not. He was terrified of upsetting the current fragile balance in the tower to bring it up on his own.

He exercised and practiced, slowly building back up to his normal training regimen. The team had yet to be called out for any missions but Steve had got them together twice to run through a few scenarios so everyone could get used to having Clint back on the team. The trial runs went smoothly, especially since the Hulk was sitting out, but no one pushed Clint to use his powers beyond offering to heal any scraps or bruises at the end of the day.

Phil was still working light duty, mostly spending time at the New York Shield office. They both knew it wouldn’t last forever; eventually one or the other of them would have to run halfway around the planet on a mission to save the world or at least a small part of it. For now they both intended to savor every moment they could have together.

Clint was in the middle of a vicious round of sparring with Natasha when an alarm began blaring sending them both back to back, fists at the ready.

“Sorry for the interruption, but you are both needed in the command center. Agent Coulson has an emergency that requires the Avengers.” Jarvis said once the alarm fell silent.

“About time,” Natasha huffed, tossing him a grin as they both raced to the changing rooms and started pulling on their gear.

“What are we fighting, Jarvis, any hints?” Clint asked as he buckled on his weapons harness catching the quiver and gear bag that Natasha tossed him a second later.

“The video footage has been unreliable. It appears to be some sort of shapeshifting beast attacking Brooklyn.”

“Cap’s not going to be happy about that;” Clint said with a smirk as they trooped into the elevator.

“The others are already on site and will have coordinates ready when you reach the jet.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

Clint was dropped off on a roof near the fighting with three full quivers while Natasha was taken down the street and repelled down a rope to street level. He watched Steve fighting off a weirdly marked grey and green mountain lion for a moment before he started scanning the streets for the rest. Reports had varied but they thought there were at least six of the beasts.

“I’ve got a weird shimmer one block from Rogers, headed towards the Shield vans.”

“Copy, on my way;” Natasha said leaving the cat to Steve and jogging toward the shimmer.

The weird animal burst out of hiding when she came within a few feet. It was a mismatch of several beasts, tentacles fighting for room on the rhino like body. He left her to it after shooting out one eye so she could hit it with her bites. Two more shimmers were reported and tagged with an arrow forcing them out of hiding, Steve jogged towards the closest to his position since the lion was being loaded into a van by Shield agents while Natasha finished off the rhino.

Clint sent another arrow into the rhino to keep it down while a Shield agent pumped it full of tranquilizers. Instinct had him spinning even as two more shimmers of air resolved themselves into mutated beasts. He fired three arrows before he was slammed hard into the roof gravel dodging a swipe of barely visible claws as he twisted and fought his way back to his feet.

The first went down with an explosive arrow to the throat that blew it apart spraying the rooftop with gore. The concussion stunned the second beast long enough for Clint to notice the four simmering heat mirages that were surrounding the Shield mobile command unit a few blocks away. He got his bow up just as the beast launched itself back into the fight.

“Someone get to the van!” Clint barked out in to the com even as the tiger like beast he was fighting snapped his bow like kindling.

Clint drew out a laser knife and cut through the beast’s arm and neck dousing himself with blood. It gave a gurgling roar even as the life fled from its quicksilver eyes. Two more heat shimmers stalked towards him as Clint risked a glance at the armored bus that was shaking under the animals’ assault.

He left the knife quivering in the next animal’s chest as the charge died. Drawing his gun he let the last beast circle while he waiting for the shot, he’d only get one chance at this. He forced his gaze to stay on the beast, ignoring the chatter over the coms as the team fought to get to the van before it was breached. He knew Coulson was organizing the technicians to fight back even as the armor plating was being pulled off the van with a scream of metal.

Clint took out the circling bear like beast with a shot to the eye only for three more to take its place. He ignored the steady stream of commands and barked demands for medical over the com as he turned weighing his options. As long as Coulson was speaking he could deal with the van, Natasha and Steve were arriving on the scene any second now. They would keep Phil safe if he needed the help.

With his bow he could have repelled off the building and shot the two beasts as he fell. Stuck on the roof he had fewer options. He pulled his favorite knife and adjusted his hold on the handgun, keeping his eyes on the circling blurs. Natasha was screaming for a medic but he had no time to glance over as the first beast lunged.

When the two beasts were down the coms were silent. Clint glanced around but there were no more shimmers hiding on the streets that he could see. He moved to the other side of the roof so he could see the van only to stumble to a stop, the van was a burning wreck. Medics worked franticly to one side on the wounded but a line of bodies lay shrouded to one side.

“Widow, Rogers?” Clint forced out not seeing them below.

“Hawkeye,” Steve said with a relieved huff, “What’s your status?”

“Four beasts down on the rooftop. I don’t see any more on the streets. Everyone okay?” Clint asked as he jimmied the roof stairwell access and started making his way down.

“Ironman is helping Dr. Banner back to the tower. Widow and I are working crowd control.”

“The Shield van?” Clint pressed, needing to know if Phil was alright.

“Six dead so far, you might want to get down here to help with the healing.”

“On my way.” Clint said forcing his tired muscles to move fasters, the slight burn of building energy tightening his chest. He let it build, he’d need it to heal anyway.

The streets below were deserted, only a handful of Shield agents working to clean up the carcasses. He pointed one towards the rooftop he’d been fighting on and jogged down the road towards the wreckage of the van. He hadn’t heard Phil on the coms in a while but he was probably with the wounded, he hated when people on his watch got injured.

Clint made his way to the injured and started healing those he could. He couldn’t do much for the ones who had lost limbs to the beasts and told the medics as much. He made sure to at least heal the blood loss where he could and he closed a lot of nasty cuts and broken bones.

He was still blinking away the vascular system of an agent when Natasha moved in front of the next man who had a concussion. He took her hand when she offered it with a frown but he healed the fractures and scraps she’d suffered. Her serum would have healed it overnight but if she thought she needed to be in top shape he wasn’t going to argue.

She shadowed him as he finished the last of the healing glancing around for Phil. He bypassed the line of dead agents, there was nothing he could do for them. He glanced at Natasha but she remained silent and on alert so he left her to her watch. Sometimes they needed a few days to come down from a long mission but he would have thought she’d be fine after half a day of fighting.

“Let’s head back to the tower to debrief.” Steve said coming forward and all but herding them towards the waiting jet.

“What am I missing?” Clint asked not liking how serious they were being and how they kept glancing at him from the corner of their eyes when he was looking away from them.

“Leave it until later, Hawk.” Natasha said tugging on his elbow.

“Something important?”

“Yes, I’ll tell you after we debrief.”

“Alright.” He said with a frown.

He spent the flight in locking down his abilities, he didn’t need them out of control if debrief was as tense as the flight. Sitwell led the review, looking around the gathered super heroes with a look of shock and grief. They quickly outlined what everyone had contributed to the fight and Sitwell skipped over the attack on the van quickly. Maybe he knew someone that had died Clint mused, when they were quickly dismissed.

“I need to know two things before I tell you what happened.” Natasha said hitting the button for the elevator.

“Alright.”

“If you need to expend energy what would be the best location for you if you were completely out of control?”

“Somewhere with no people. I normally drive out to the mountains or desert.” Clint said slowly as they entered the tower and she hit the button for the garage.

“Stark has a mountain house with several miles of uninhabited forest around it. We’re heading to the airport, there’s a jet waiting. I’ll tell you everything once we arrive at the house.”

“It’s that bad?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, Hawk, but I can’t risk telling you while we’re not secure.” She said getting into a sports car and gesturing for him to take the passenger seat.

“Phil would probably calm me down, Nat.” he said trying to ignore the fact that her mask was fully up, something she hadn’t done to him in years.

“Phil’s stuck in meetings with the mayor.” She said gunning the engine and taking the through the streets with reckless speed.

“Tony could do that.”

“Tony’s in the Hulk tank with Bruce.”

“Steve?”

“He’s headed to the Helicarrier to deal with Shield and the WSC with Fury.”

“You really think I’ll react that badly?”

“Yes, I think you will.”

“Alright.” Clint said with a sigh, settling back into his seat.

Two hours later they were in the mountains, Natasha driving into the underground garage and leading the way into the house. Considering it was Tony’s it was tastefully done in forest greens and dark wood, modern sleekness vying for space with rustic leather furniture and wood grains. Clint made his way to the balcony overlooking the lake and took a seat on the deck planks making sure his powers were locked up tight, just in case.

The only thing he could see making him lose control at this point was Phil. He’d been lucky that he hadn’t known Phil was thought dead during the battle. He’d only found out after the fact. Fury had taken him straight to the medical bay to heal Phil once the fight was over, only telling him the others thought he man dead several days later once they were sure Phil would recover.

In fact, he hadn’t talked to Phil after the battle. He should have been the one leading the after mission debrief, not Sitwell. Phil always made sure to check in with his team after a mission, they’d had too many close calls for them to not check in. Natasha dropped to a seat next to him with a frown, watching him closely.

“It’s Phil, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Steve was afraid you would go super nova if you found out in town and there were too many people there who could be hurt.”

“How?”

“He jumped in front of the beast that attacked the technicians. He was mauled badly and the medics called it once they arrived.”

“There were three surrounding the van.”

“He killed one of them himself, the other was killed by the van’s defense system before it was damaged.”

“Who killed the last one?”

“I did.”

“Good.”

“Are you alright?” she asked hesitantly.

Clint shrugged and turned his eyes to the distant mountains around them. Natasha was the only human he could sense for miles, only deer and a few bear filled the woods and rocks around them. A good place to let go he thought with a sigh.

Phil had been the only thing holding him together for years now. He was the only reason he’d stayed at Shield as long as he had. Sure, Natasha had needed him for a while but she was working well with the Avengers, they would make sure she kept up the good fight.

The sun slowly set as he considered his options. He could send Natasha away and let go for a while but it would destroy the area, reducing every bit of life and beauty around him to ash and he didn’t think Phil would have approved. He could keep going as he was and fight the good fight, the never ending battles, but he’d been honest when he told Phil he was tired. He’d been ready to rest by his side as long as he was able, that hadn’t changed.

He let Natasha get him settled on a couch for the night and he pretended to sleep. He used a tablet once she was actually asleep to send out the messages he needed and to arrange for the few things he’d kept hidden over the years to be given to those who could use them. He let Natasha fix him breakfast and even ate it before he finally broke the silence.

“When is the funeral?”

“In two days if you’re up for it. Fury’s willing to postpone it if you need more time.”

“No, two days is fine. We need to head back soon anyway.”

Clint spent the next two days in silence. He made the arrangements he needed before ensuring that Jarvis would keep an eye on everyone for him. They would need someone to keep an eye on the long view.

He waited through the funeral, waiting until everyone but Clint, Fury, and Natasha were left by the grave side. He waited as she and Fury said their goodbyes before moving away to give him some space. He took a seat next to the headstone, fingers tracing the letters. He’d waited for hundreds of years to find someone like Phil, he could wait a while longer.

“I knew I’d be the one left waiting eventually, Phil. I’m not built to be the first one to die no matter how I’d have wanted it that way. I don’t know if there’s a heaven for people like me but I hope you made it. I’m sorry, Phil, I know this isn’t what you would have wanted but I can’t wait any more. Forgive me.”

He faintly heard Natasha scream as the energy and heat ripped him apart but he couldn’t stop it. He had no idea what was waiting him or even if he’d be able to die properly but he hoped Phil would forgive him. He couldn’t wait alone any longer. They watched in shock as Clint’s body burned itself to ash, burned until nothing was left but a shallow mark in the grass next to the grave.


End file.
